May 14, 2007

PELTED!

Highlight of the 2nd half of the first round… of the first leg… of the tour… (s)…

NE University of New Mexico – Headlined on a festival stage. Then later, were celebrity judges for a battle of the bands. There were 5 finalists…

1) Lynyrd Rock-A-Nugent with a Black Crowe wang…

2) Emo Punk Band (by the way, what the hell is emo? I mean, I get the word, but IS there any meaning?) The bass player had a huge concert stack. The singer/guitar player had the emo-dew for sho. And an amp that was hidden behind its mic stand (I seriously think it was a Peavey Bandit of some type). The drummer? K-I-L-L-I-N I-T!! Dude was SLAMMIN!!! (I mean like Madison Square in his mind.)

3) Rapper w tracks and 2 guy posse stankin’ it up with some crotch-grabbin’ tracks and a pretty kinda groovfunny snoop dogg-like vibe (word-wise)…

4) Christian Metal Band – Stryper meets Black Crowes. (Aren’t 2 black crows in a crowd some kinda voodoo spell?) Good players, but too many friends/people on stage getting in the way of the guitar player/lead singer when he broke a string. They brought a HUGE God-Fearing crowd with them. And coincidentally, they were the only band of the 5 to use profanity, on a VERY conservative campus, and thereby self-disqualified themselves. (After all, isn’t the “F-Bomb” one of the 7 deadly sins?) Just another example of irony on a base-level, but it’s a hoot. Right, brutha Bill?

5) Started strong. Cool clothes. Sounded decent. And then, they were bold enough to play the only cover tune of the night. And the tune they remade was… “Hey Ya”…? WHAT?!?!?! At this point they were immediately pelted with handfuls of event-catered mandarin oranges canned in syrup – the fateful shots coming from behind and above the crowd from some area mysteriously beyond the grassy knoll, but frightfully close to where the “celebrity judges” were standing in their chairs at their event-catered table, like Simon, Randy and Paula, etc… Then, all of a sudden, the sound goes off, so all you hear are the “BOOS” from everyone in the crowd who wasn’t pledging a sorority at the campus (or stalking one). So, the band is standing around talking on stage, waiting a good 5 minutes for the juice to come back on. Then, when it finally does, they proceed to finish “Hey Ya”. WOW!!! That took some balls. But wait! The next song was their self-imposed encore – “Fat Bottom Girls”. Potentially a good song, BUT, if you are gonna cover Freddy Mercury, all I ask is you sing it in YOUR key if it isn’t the same as his… Nuff said. Only heard ½ of it as I made my way back to the bus…

And as we sped off into the distance to avoid being crucified by the Christians (did I mention they brought the biggest part of the crowd?), the tally sheet fluttered in the wind behind us… Final Results:

3rd Place – The Rolling Cat Scratch Skynyrdbirds

2nd Place – The Rappers. It was pretty f’in entertaining… (I hope I won’t burn for that).

1st Place – Big Amp Little Amp Zen Master Emo… DAMN, that drummer was good!

More to come soon. Just had a couple of new experiences I gotta find the time to write about so I can share it with ya.

Also, we are playing in Dallas on June 2nd at the Granada Theater. See my calendar for details. And we are planning a tour out west that will start around the end of June, so beware!!!

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